The title of this blog entry is a little joke to remind me not to ever do that in my fiction–state that a character is “thinking to himself.” How else would he be thinking?
But the broader question facing us today regards how a writer should convey a character’s thoughts. To get your fiction published these days, it’s important to be able to let your readers know the thoughts of your point-of-view character. Fiction, as I’ve said before, is about the human condition, and a large part of the human experience requires thinking. In fiction, we expect to find a protagonist dealing with one or more conflicts, and a large part of understanding her struggle is to know her thoughts.
Thoughts reveal a lot about a character. Often thoughts are more extreme and emotion-packed than spoken words. In the cases where a character’s thoughts are just as restrained as his speech, that tells the reader this character has a great degree of self-control. A character that “speaks his mind” likely does not have much tact in social situations.
It’s rather strange that English has quotation marks to indicate spoken dialogue, but no analogous, standard symbol for a character’s thoughts. Without such a standard, practices vary:
- “I sure could go for a hamburger,” Steve thought.
- I sure could go for a hamburger.
- Steve thought about how much he wanted a hamburger.
The first example with the quotation marks seems to have fallen out of favor. It’s potentially confusing, since a reader could assume the character is speaking out loud, until the tag–Steve thought–appears. Some say the second example with italics has run its course and is not recommended. It may also lead to potential confusing ambiguity, since italics are also used for emphasis, or sometimes to indicate foreign words.
As for me, I prefer italics. I like how italicized words leap out and distinguish themselves as different. When used to indicate thought, they really help the reader separate “dialogue” from thought and narration. I suppose the knock against italics is they can interrupt flow.
Although the last example reads just like narration, the tag “Steve thought” clues the reader in that the character is thinking. The use of standard text makes for a smoother read.
In my view, there are three guidelines you should follow: (1) stick with the publisher’s guidelines, if known; (2) avoid confusing the reader; and (3) be somewhat consistent through your story in the technique you use.
There are some other helpful blog post articles on this topic here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. As you’ll see from reading through them, there is general agreement, but some differences. What are your thoughts on representing a character’s thoughts? I welcome comments.
That’s another fine blog post I’ve written, thought–
Poseidon’s Scribe