Author Interview – Karl Dandenell

In my last post, I hinted I would interview authors whose stories also appear in The Science Fiction Tarot.

Today, I’m pleased to present the first of these interviews.

Karl Dandenell is a first-generation Swedish American, graduate of Viable Paradise XVI, and Full Member of the Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers Association. He lives on an island near San Francisco famous for its Victorian architecture with his family and cat overlords. He is fond of strong tea and distilled spirits.

On with the interview:

Poseidon’s Scribe: When and why did you begin writing fiction?

Karl Dandenell: I remember writing basic stories in grade school, and moved on to SF around middle school. (Yes, I did my own version of Star Trek fanfic.)

My school had several excellent reading programs that allowed you to get extra breaks from class if you committed to read (X) number of pages per month/semester. I might be conflating here, but I recall that in 6th grade the class (or at least the advanced readers) was put on a bus to a book fair in nearby Santa Barbara. One of the authors presenting was Beverly Cleary, and The Mouse and the Motorcycle was one of my favorites. Meeting her was a major event in my life.

As to why I began writing… I think I always wanted to be a storyteller. At least, I wanted people to pay attention to me. Writing seemed a better route than sports. (For the record, I also dabbled in theatre.)

P.S.: Who are some of your influences? What are a few of your favorite books? 

K.D.: I read pretty much everything in the local library SF/F section, which didn’t take long. When I started using my Christmas money at the bookstore, I gravitated toward folks like Zelazny, Le Guin, Patricia McKillip, and Jack Vance (all exceptional prose stylists). For Big Idea stories, I’m a big fan of Greg Bear, Larry Niven, Kim Stanley Robinson, and Nancy Kress.

Favorite books: wow, another hard one. Like many writers, there are books that I go back to again and again, the ones that have survived multiple relationships and house moves. There are also books that come into your life at a critical moment and smack you upside the head. A short list would have to include Lord of Light, A Wizard of Earthsea, The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, The Wine of Violence, Emerald Eyes, and In the Garden of Iden.

P.S.: Is there a common attribute that ties your fiction together (genre, character types, settings, themes) or are you a more eclectic author?

K.D.: I write a lot of small cast stories; sometimes it’s just two (main) characters dealing with story’s conflict. My narrators tend to be solitary, or perhaps quiet outsiders. It’s hard for me to write someone like Shakespeare’s John Falstaff. My settings are all over the place. They will, however, always feature food and drink as part of the action. I suspect that started because I would write early in the morning or late at night, especially in grad school, so when I was hungry, my characters tended to eat. So it became a habit.

P.S.: You seem to favor the short story form. Why?

K.D.: Ironically, I find it easier, even though every novelist I know says the short form is harder. For me, the creation of an entire novel is a huge commitment not only to the world but the people, the characters. You’ve got to hang out with these folks for at least a year, and that’s only the draft! With revisions, submissions, re-revisions, etc., you’re looking at multi-year project.

Don’t get me wrong. I love novels. I love a good series. If I ever find myself truly passionate about a theme and cast some engaging characters, I will wade right in. For now, I like to sprint, or at least jog, to the ending. Rejections come a lot faster too, although I’m not sure that’s better. Writers have to develop a thick skin.

P.S.: Your blog has an intriguing title: “Beware of Fire Wombats.” There’s got to be a story behind that. What is it?

K.D.: Oh, yes! You can blame Scott Lynch, an amazing fantasy writer and all-around clever fellow. He was a guest lecturer during my week at Viable Paradise. He was talking about worldbuilding and there was a little digression about the Epic Creation Myth that some writers permit themselves. He tossed out an example of some Ancient War Between Great Powers, like dragons versus fire wombats. Whatever. I loved the image and immediately grabbed that domain (firewombats.com) for my new blog. It’s sort of an unofficial mascot for the VP 16 class.

P.S.: For readers unfamiliar with Viable Paradise, please describe it, and let us know what it was like for you.

K.D.: Viable Paradise bills itself as “a science fiction and fantasy writer’s workshop.” On its most basic level, that’s true, though a better definition might be “genre writers’ grown-up summer camp.” Every year (except during the serious COVID lockdown), twenty-four students and a dozen instructors and “house elves” gather in a hotel on Martha’s Vineyard. In October. It’s off-season, and the hotel is pretty empty. The weather can be lovely, or cold and wet. Not that you see much of the outdoors (at least I didn’t). For five intense days (plus the arrival/departure day), you read, critique, attend lectures, and write. There are also other delightful and challenging diversions that I cannot describe because of the code of secrecy. 

What I got during that week was a huge reboot to my writing approach. While I’d had a few professional sales before VP, I lacked a clear understanding of the larger genre writing community and the potential pitfalls of the artistic life. Or the joys, to be honest. Writing is a solitary business, and attending VP introduced me to amazing people, both faculty and students. They were a new tribe, a found family, or perhaps an island of misfit toys. I made some very important friendships, and they have been maintained thanks to the internet and other writing events, like conventions. I honestly think if I hadn’t attended VP I would have struggled for a decade or two to figure out what I wanted.

P.S.: Tell us about your short story, “The Schadenfreuders,” which appears in The Science Fiction Tarot. Something about aliens with strange eating habits, I’ve heard.

K.D.: That was a tough story. I did the initial drafts at a weekend writing workshop in San Antonio but it changed a lot since then. (And was rejected by plenty of markets, honestly.) My idea was to play around with the “alien invasion” trope. I wanted to make it funny, in a dry manner, like classic British humor. What if the aliens came here not because they wanted to enslave us or steal our women, but to eat us? Specifically, they want to eat our suffering. It’s a treat for them. And what if the aliens were just as obnoxious about their gourmet experiences as humans? Well, they’d need someone to act as their intermediary, which gave me my narrator, a poor schmuck of an attorney just trying to make an honest buck. Things don’t go quite the way you’d think.

P.S.: Tell us about your short story, “Supply and Demand Among the Sidhe,” which appears in Strange Economics. Did I hear right? Leprechaun mafia?

K.D.: The title comes from one of my beta readers and her lecture on economic underpinnings in fiction. The working title was “Changeling” since the plot revolved how leprechauns made some extra coin by selling human babies and replacing them with changelings. Eventually, I abandoned that idea and kept the characters, whom I really loved. The story explores the underbelly of capitalism in the land of fae. Specifically, it’s an oligarchy, with all the money flowing upward to Queen Titania. To make any kind of a decent living, all the enchanted creatures had their side gigs. That evolved into organized crime and illicit trade with humans because why not? The main conflict involves a currency shortage, and the queen isn’t putting up with that. Our enterprising leprechaun MC has to ally himself with goblins and sabotage his political rivals (the dwarves) in order to come through the crisis with his skin and bank account intact. It’s very tongue-in-cheek.

P.S.: It seemed you waxed Shakespearean in your tale “Sullied Flesh,” which appears in Speculative North. Tell us about that one.

K.D.: Every writer with an English degree feels the need to do a riff on Shakespeare. The Bard stole from everyone, and I returned the favor. (Full disclosure: I acted a tiny bit in college.) I wanted to use my theatre experience to inform a near-future SF story that is going to be fact sooner rather than later. When I first conceived the plot, it leaned heavily into cyberpunk: what if we would only hire actors to be puppets for famous performances? And what if there were an actor who wanted to prove that he could do Hamlet just like Richard Burton without the brain hardware? That gave me my main character and my conflict.

Some trivia: Hamlet is the most off-quoted Shakespeare play. For my part, I have a wrought iron sculpture in my entryway that spells out, “To thine own self be true.”

P.S.: What is your current work in progress? Would you mind telling us a little about it?

K.D.: I have a lot of WIP stories. It’s a condition. My most recent draft was something I put together during the Nebula Awards conference. It’s a very short piece of secondary world fantasy. In broad strokes, it’s a slightly different POV on the traditional knight vs. dragon trope. Everyone wants to be a hero, but not everyone is cut out for the life.

P.S.: What advice can you offer aspiring writers?

K.D.: Write. Read. Read widely and weirdly. Don’t feel boxed in by classic literature: Shakespeare and Milton and Chaucer are great but they may not call to you. Look to untraditional voices (i.e., woman and writers of color). Travel when you can afford it. Try to make friends with other writers so you can share each other’s pain and celebrate triumphs. Be wary of friends who give you feedback but don’t really say anything. (The same rule applies to family and partners.) Pace yourself: this is a marathon, not a sprint.

And never, ever ignore the Muse. She’s fickle, and appears at the oddest times. If you feel compelled to write something that wasn’t in your plans, then WRITE THE THING. You can always edit later.

P.S.: You’ve traveled through time and met yourself at a point when you were first thinking of being a writer. What one thing do you tell this younger version of you?

K.D.: Similar to what I mentioned above for aspiring writers. For me, I might add that attending an expensive MFA program is more beneficial to job hunting than actual writing. I’d also tell myself to swallow my discomfort, go to those early SF cons, and ask questions. Writers generally love to talk about their work. You can learn a lot more from them than you can from any course.

P.S.: Tell us a little bit about your most recently published story/book.

K.D.: The Science Fiction Tarot! This was my 4th publication associated with the lovely folks in Toronto. (I previously appeared in their “Strange” series: Strange Economics, Strange Wars, and Strange Religion.)

I was attracted to the project’s concept: creating a literary “tarot deck” anthology in which the Major Arcana of the Tarot would represent many of the classic SF tropes (e.g., time travel). As part of the project, the editor planned to commission new artwork for each story. That’s always fun (and pretty rare, unfortunately). It was also a Kickstarter project, which I love to support.

My story, “Schadenfreuders” had been rejected over 40 times before finding a home with TSFT. When the editor reached out, I knew that my story about weird gourmet aliens might be a good match. And it was! At the time I’m writing this, the anthology has only been out in the world a few weeks. I’ve read a few stories and look forward to the rest. And hey, you can get your very copy in gorgeous paper or e-format. Just saying.

P.S.: You’ve won a trip to the fictional world of another author. Where will you go and what will you do there?

K.D.: My first impulse is to name one of the big fantasy realms, but I don’t think that would be much of a vacation. I like indoor plumbing. If I were to stretch the definition of “fictional” to include “imagined future,” then I would love to go to the Mars created by Kim Stanley Robinson, specifically Blue Mars. There would be so much territory to explore.

P.S.: You just met an interested reader in an elevator. The reader asks, “What sort of stories do you write?” The doors will open soon, so what short answer do you give this reader?

K.D.: “I write short fiction, primarily fantasy and speculative fiction. My spec fiction doesn’t require math to appreciate it, and my characters are occasionally snarky.”

Poseidon’s Scribe.: What non-writing hobby or interest do you have? Does it complement your writing or is it a relief from writing?

Karl Dandenell: Does reading count as a hobby? If it does, then it’s both a relief and a complement.

Poseidon’s Scribe: Thank you very much, Karl.

Readers can follow Karl Dandenell on his website and blog, on Twitter, on Facebook, on Goodreads, and on his Amazon page.

How “Turned Off” Got Turned On

The new book The Science Fiction Tarot anthology, edited by Brandon Butler, contains my story “Turned Off.”

In the anthology, images of science fiction related tarot cards accompany each story. The one for mine, drawn by Marco Marin, looks wonderful.

My story involves two movie prop robots who awaken during a strange electrical storm in Hollywood. I patterned one robot, Automo, after the Robby robot of movies like Forbidden Planet (1956) and The Invisible Boy (1957). The robot Ava of the movie Ex Machina (2014) inspired my other robot, Evie.

Forbidden Planet poster

Now conscious and sentient, both robots ponder the circumstances of having been turned off by their human creators. In each case, movie directors, concerned that a robot could go berserk on a set, opted instead to film human actors in robot costumes.

Ex Machina poster

I don’t mean to imply that “Turned Off” will, or might, be prophetic in any way. It’s humorous in spots and scary in others, and based on an unrealistic premise. But we all should contemplate the larger question raised by the story, since the rise of AI involves us all.

With artificial intelligence systems gaining capability every day, it seems useful to consider what such systems will think about if or when they become capable of self-directed thought.

In the coming weeks, I hope to conduct blog interviews of the other authors whose stories appear in The Science Fiction Tarot anthology, and to interview the editor as well.

Note: No AI or robots were used in the creation of this or other posts by the blogger—

Poseidon’s Scribe

Whirlwind Weekend in Des Moines

This past weekend, I had a wonderful time at DemiCon, the science fiction convention in Des Moines, Iowa. My first time at that con, and I met interesting people and engaged in fun discussions.

After driving for eleven hours to get there, I made it in time for my first panel on Friday evening. The topic was ‘Artificial Intelligence Meets Science Fiction.’ Jan Gephardt, David Pedersen, and I discussed the future of AI as it affects writing. What will happen when AI writes better fiction than humans? Asked and answered.

I, Jan Gephardt, and David Pedersen discuss ‘AI Meets SF’

Saturday began with a panel titled ‘Iowa in SF.’ The uninformed might dismiss that as a contradiction in terms. However, Lettie Prell, Adam Whitlatch, and I disproved that and entertained a packed room with examples of SF set in Iowa, SF writers with Iowa connections, and reasons for setting a SF story in the Hawkeye state. Note: in a little over 200 years, James T. Kirk (future Star Fleet captain) will be born in Riverside, Iowa.

I, Lettie Prell, and Adam Whitlach discuss ‘Iowa in SF’

Following that, Adam Whitlatch and I answered the question: ‘Can Writers Benefit from Being Editors?’ Adam has edited much more than I, and together we emphasized that even if a writer never edits another’s work, she should strive to think of an editor as partner, not enemy.

Adam and I discuss ‘Can Writers Benefit from Being Editors?’

I didn’t expect anyone to show up for my author reading session, but to my surprise, four people did. (I bribed ‘em with doughnuts.) That lucky quartet heard excerpts from 80 Hours and from my story “Reconnaissance Mission” which appears in the anthology Not Far From Roswell. I even sold and signed some books.

Me at my reading – brought doughnuts

Right after that, I spoke at a panel titled ‘Pandemics Through History, Their Effects on Literature.’ That topic may sound depressing, but Jan Gephardt and I focused on diseases sparking some marvelous fiction including the The Decameron, The Masque of the Red Death, The Plague, The Stand, and many others. We emphasized that pandemic literature explores feelings of fear, pain, hopelessness, and isolation, but also shows the courage, nobility, innovation, and resilience of the human spirit. COVID-19 will likely spur some interesting SF in the coming years.

Jan and I talk about pandemics in literature (still some doughnuts left)

How many people would likely show up late on a Saturday night to hear me speak on the topic ‘Character Changes from Unlikeable to Likeable?’ As it happened, that number was fourteen. After presenting literary examples like Ebenezer Scrooge, the Grinch, Godzilla, and Darth Vader, I discussed techniques writers use to present a character as unlikeable, but then do a ‘face turn’ to show that character displaying redeeming characteristics.

On Sunday, Jan Gephardt and I teamed up again, this time to discuss ‘Gadgets in SF’ with an audience of eleven or so. We warned budding writers not to fall in love with their gadgets. Fall in love with characters and plot instead. If readers wanted long gadget descriptions, they’d buy a textbook.

DemiCon treated me well. That might not be the last they see of—

Poseidon’s Scribe

Iowa Boy Returns – DemiCon 2023

This coming weekend, May 5-7, I plan to speak at DemiCon, the science fiction convention in Des Moines, Iowa. I grew up in Iowa, so it will serve as a homecoming of sorts.

Here’s my schedule for that weekend:

Friday

6 pm               AI Meets SF (with David Pedersen and Jan Gephardt)

Saturday

10 am             Iowa in SF (with Adam Whitlatch and Lettie Prell)

12 pm             Can Writers Benefit from Being Editors? (with Adam Whitlatch)

2 pm               Steve Southard Reading

3 pm               Pandemics Through History, Their Effects on Literature (with Jan Gephardt)

9 pm               Character Changes: From Unlikable to Likable

Sunday

12 pm             Gadgets in SF (with Jan Gephardt)

I’ve never been to DemiCon and it looks like there’s a lot to enjoy, even many events that don’t include me. The full schedule is here and you can register for the con here.

You’re thinking—with so many other things to do in Iowa, why go to a scifi convention? That question answers itself.

C’mon to DemiCon. If nothing else, it’s a good chance for you to meet the literary phenomenon everyone calls—

Poseidon’s Scribe

Great Time at PenguiCon 2023

Attendees at the science fiction convention PenguiCon enjoyed a great treat yesterday. They got to go to an informative and fun panel about Jules Verne.

Scifi fan and bookseller Jeff Beeler led the discussion and asked questions designed to give the audience a good feel for the famous French author. Unlike most readers, the first Verne novel Jeff read was the obscure 1888 novel Two Years’ Vacation.

The con’s Guest of Honor, Eric Choi (pictured with me) explained how he came to write his story “Raise the Nautilus,” which appears in Extraordinary Visions: Stories Inspired by Jules Verne, 20,000 Leagues Remembered, and Eric’s short story collection, Just Like Being There.

JD DeLuzio added his own perspective on Verne. He’d read the author’s major works and commented on the societal and cultural change Verne wrought.

The president of the North American Jules Verne Society, Dennis Kytasaari, knew more about Verne than the rest of us combined, and discussed not only the history of the society, but also mentioned that the publisher BearManor Media is offering 25% off on its Verne titles (including Extraordinary Visions) through the end of this month. Use the code ‘Verne25’ at checkout.

Even if you missed that panel at PenguiCon, you can still get that 25%-off deal. These are modern translations, not like the poor early English translations of Verne’s major works. Go snap up those books at this website now. You can always come back later to read posts by—

Poseidon’s Scribe

Upcoming Events for Poseidon’s Scribe

Hectic times for Poseidon’s Scribe. Last week I mentioned I’ll be speaking at PenguiCon. Today I’ve got two more events to tell you about.

First, here’s an update on PenguiCon, the scifi convention at the Westin Hotel in Southfield, Michigan. For the panel “Extraordinary Visions: the enduring legacy of Jules Verne” (11:00 am on Saturday, April 22), there’s been a person added to the panel. In addition to Eric Choi (the con’s Guest of Honor), Jeff Beeler, JD DeLuzio, and me, the panel will also include Dennis Kytasaari, president of the North American Jules Verne Society.

Also, for the next panel after that, Eric Choi graciously invited me to read some of my fiction as well.

Two weeks later, I’ll be speaking at DemiCon, the scifi convention in Des Moines, Iowa, running from 5-7 May at the Holiday Inn & Suites Des Moines-Northwest.

I’m scheduled for the following events:

  • AI Meets SF, Friday 6-7PM
  • Iowa in SF, Saturday 10-11AM
  • Can Writers Benefit from Being Editors? Saturday noon-1PM
  • Steven Southard Reading, Saturday 2-3PM
  • Pandemics Through History, Their Effects on Literature, Saturday 3-4PM
  • Character Changes from Unlikable to Likable, Saturday 9-10PM
  • Gadgets in SF, Sunday noon-1PM

I’ll give you more updated information on that as the dates approach.

Then, on April 30, a new anthology launches and it will include one of my stories. You might not associate tarot cards with scifi, but both have something to do with predicting the future, so it works. TDotSpec is publishing The Science Fiction Tarot, edited by Brandon Butler.

The book contains my story, “Turned Off,” a tale of two movie prop robots whose circuits activate during an electrical storm. They each recall being turned off after being replaced in their movies by costumed human actors. Now they consider what to do about the humans who created them but can turn them on or off at will.

You can pre-order The Science Fiction Tarot here.

You just can’t miss a week of this blog. For some reason, all of a sudden, there’s a lot happening in the world of—

Poseidon’s Scribe

Waddling to Penguicon ‘23

If you find yourself in the Detroit area later this month, consider going to Penguicon. I’ll be there.

A science fiction convention, Penguicon takes place in Southfield, Michigan at the Westin hotel. This year, they’ve chosen author Eric Choi as their Guest of Honor. His short story “Raise the Nautilus” appears in two recent anthologies—Extraordinary Visions: Stories Inspired by Jules Verne and 20,000 Leagues Remembered.

Penguicon features a panel called “Extraordinary Visions: the enduring legacy of Jules Verne” at 11:00 am on Saturday, April 22. Bookseller and scifi fan Jeff Beeler will moderate the panel, and panelists include Eric Choi, author JD DeLuzio, and me.

Following that panel, at 12:00, Eric Choi will launch his new book, Just Like Being There, and I plan on, well, being there, for that.

Face it—when it comes to pure enjoyment, nothing else you had planned for that day even comes close to attending Penguicon.

Two weeks after that, I’ll be speaking at another convention. Plus, another one of my stories will appear in an upcoming anthology. Stay tuned for news about both of these exciting events. You don’t want to miss a single post by—

Poseidon’s Scribe

My Newest Book — Rebel Spirit

Ever heard of CSS Hunley? A hand-cranked submarine from the U.S. Civil War, it accomplished the first successful submarine attack in history.

I’ve written a fictional story set aboard that sub. One of my few ghost stories, Rebel Spirit follows the experiences of a man nicknamed Scowler, a member of the sub’s first crew.

In 1864, Northern warships blockaded Charleston harbor, permitting no waterborne trade. In desperation, the South tried an unprecedented attack from underwater, by submarine. Earlier inventors had attempted submarine warfare without success. Many in Charleston hoped the Hunley, named for its inventor, Horace Lawson Hunley, would prevail. 

Think of Rebel Spirit as historical horror. Well, mild horror. For the most part, I’ve adhered to historical accounts while telling Scowler’s story. My tale makes no reference to the politics of the war and does not glorify the South’s cause. As a former submariner with an interest in history, I’m awed by the bravery of the men who served aboard such a dangerous, cramped, man-powered craft.

In real life, researchers have salvaged the Hunley and it resides in a museum in Charleston. I hope to visit that museum one day.

I invite you to read Rebel Spirit. For $3.99, you can buy it at Amazon. It’s a ghostly story of the sea brought to you by—

Poseidon’s Scribe

P.S. I’m planning to speak at Penguicon, a scifi conference in Southfield, Michigan, on Saturday, April 22. I’ll provide more details in the next blogpost by—

Poseidon’s Scribe

Join the Laser Pistol Gang

I plead guilty…to violating many laws of science in my writing. But I’m not alone. I’m in good company with many other science fiction writers. Call us the Laser Pistol Gang.

Authors of so-called ‘hard SF’ should adhere to known scientific principles and knowledge, but aren’t above bending or breaking the laws of physics for the sake of a good story.

Mary Shelley really stretched biological science in Frankenstein when her fictional scientist animated a human from dead tissue. Jules Verne knew human astronauts wouldn’t survive the acceleration of a manned projectile launched from a canon in From the Earth to the Moon. H.G. Wells disobeyed temporal causality in The Time Machine. When he wrote Fantastic Voyage, Isaac Asimov understood the impossibility of miniaturizing people. From his medical training, Michael Crichton must have realized not enough intact DNA fragments remain to create the living dinosaurs of Jurassic Park.

These represent a small sampling from SF literature. Don’t get me started on SF movies, which seem to break more laws of science than they obey.

On what charges could the science police arrest me? Consider my rap sheet:

  • “The Steam Elephant” (from Steampunk Tales, Issue #5 and The Gallery of Curiosities #3). The state of steam and mechanical technology in the 19th Century did not allow for a walking, steam-powered, quadrupedal vehicle.
  • “Within Victorian Mists.” Everything needed to invent lasers existed in the 1800s except the conceptual framework, so if it had happened, it would have required dumb luck.
  • “Bringing the Future to You” (from Cheer Up, Universe!). That story contains too many science violations to list, but I meant the tale to be funny.
  • “Leonardo’s Lion.” Some accounts state Leonardo da Vinci built a walking, clockwork lion. Even if true, it’s doubtful the creation would have supported a child’s weight or traveled over rough terrain, as it does in my story.
  • “The Six Hundred Dollar Man.” Yes, steam engines existed in the late 19th Century, but no one then could have made one small enough to fit on a man’s back and power the man’s replacement limbs.
  • “A Tale More True.” Try as you might, you can’t build a metal spring strong enough to launch yourself into space as my protagonist does.
  • “The Cometeers.” In this story, I violate the same laws Verne did in launching humans to space using a canon. In fact, I used his same canon.
  • “Time’s Deformèd Hand.” Nobody in 1600 AD built walking, talking automatons powered by springs. However, I did mention the wood came from magical trees.
  • “A Clouded Affair” (from Avast, Ye Airships!). You couldn’t build a steam-powered ornithopter in the 1800s, and you’d find it difficult even today.
  • “Ripper’s Ring” Human invisibility remains impossible today, let alone in 1888. Even if it were possible, it would render the subject blind.
  • “The Cats of Nerio-3” (from In a Cat’s Eye). Evolution allows organisms to adapt to new environments, but neither cats nor rats would likely evolve in such a rapid and drastic manner as my story suggests.
  • “Instability” (from Dark Luminous Wings). According to legend, a Benedictine monk constructed a set of wings and tested them sometime around 1000 AD. The wings work no better in my story than they would have in reality.
  • “The Unparalleled Attempt to Rescue One Hans Pfaall” (from Quoth the Raven). Just because Edgar Allan Poe wrote about a balloon trip to the moon didn’t mean I had to repeat his error.

With so much law-breaking going on, how can we hope for an orderly reading society? Must we be forever besieged by the criminal authors of the Laser Pistol Gang?

That answer, I’m happy to report, is yes. Authors write to entertain readers. That’s a writer’s ‘prime directive,’ to steal a phrase. If the writer must bend or break a rule of science to tell a good story, the writer is going to do it.

One key phrase there is ‘good story.’ The better the story, the easier it is for a reader to forgive a scientific flaw. Of course, if you can tell a good story while keeping the science accurate, by all means, do that.

If you aim to join the Laser Pistol Gang, be aware we have a tough initiation ritual. You have to write a story where a law of science gets broken. Not a very exclusive gang, I admit. But it’s a proud, longstanding group. Take it from one of its most notorious members, known by his gang name—

Poseidon’s Scribe

Your 3 Distinguishing Words

Using computers, you can measure peoples’ writing. You can compare recent bestsellers to books that didn’t sell well.

One man with interests in numerical analysis and literature tried just that. Ben Blatt wrote Nabokov’s Favorite Word Is Mauve: What the Numbers Reveal About the Classics, Bestsellers, and Our Own Writing. Megan Gambino interviewed him in this post.

Blatt analyzed books by many bestselling authors of the 19th and 20th Centuries, looking for patterns of word usage. He compared the practices used by these authors to the practices recommended in writing classes (and in blogs about writing, like mine). Among his findings are the following:

  • Advice: Keep your opening sentences short.
    • Finding: True. The bestselling books start with short sentences more often than not.
  • Advice: Don’t open with the weather.
    • Finding: False. Many bestselling books do.
  • Advice: Shun adverbs.
    • Finding: True. The bestselling books tend to include fewer adverbs.

He also set out to discover whether American authors write in a ‘louder’ manner than British authors. That is, do American author cause their characters to yell and scream more than British authors cause their characters to do? That answer is yes.

I found one aspect of Blatt’s research of particular interest. He analyzed what words some authors used more than others. For Jane Austen, the words civility, fancying, and imprudence showed up a lot. John Updike used rimmed, prick, and f**ked more than most. As you can guess from the title of Blatt’s book, Vladimir Nabokov favored the word mauve. Nabokov associated numbers, letters, and sounds with colors, a symptom of synesthesia. Blatt found Ray Bradbury used spice and smell words more than most.

These findings intrigued me. If someone performed a numerical analysis of my own published works, what would that reveal? What words do I use more frequently than other writers do? If you’re a writer, are you curious about that aspect of your own work?

If someone crunched the numbers for your writing and told you your three distinguishing words, what would these words say about you? Nabokov’s mauve pointed to his synesthesia. Bradbury’s spices brought him back to the smells of his grandmother’s pantry. If you knew your distinguishing words, would they surprise you? Delight you? Disgust you?

After knowing them, would you own them and seek to use them more in future stories, or disavow them and expunge them from your vocabulary?

One thing’s certain. Considering just my blogposts alone, my two most distinguishing words must be—

Poseidon’s Scribe