The Good Ship Bluefish
to the tune of “Irish Rover”
by Steven R. Southard CDR, USNR, Ret
The Cold War wasn’t done in nineteen seventy-one
When she first left Connecticut’s coast
Six-Seventy-Five could outrun and outdive
All the others. Ain’t no idle boast
Such an elegant craft, ‘bout a mile fore to aft
Every word of this story is true…ish
Five billion megawatts, full speed sixty knots
And we’d christened that good ship: Bluefish
She had seven main shafts, eight props back aft
And nine nuke reactors to rev her
There were ten separate sails, ‘leven rudders at the tail
Best goddamn submarine ever
Our sonars could hear twelve leagues to the rear
Thirteen leagues ahead, when they’re newish
Fourteen tubes lined the hull, fifty torps loaded full
When we boarded the Good Ship Bluefish
Old Salty Bill Goat was our Chief o’ the Boat
Red Noggin, he stood much too tall
Seaman Dick Notsoshort had a girl ‘n each port
And Bud Wiser could outdrink us all
A-gang’s Piston McStroke, could fix anything broke
Just some of our five hundred crewish
And Cap’n Mark Bearing, of us all the most daring
Skippered the Good Ship Bluefish
The boat sallied forth to both poles, south and north
Found a locker inscribed by “Jones, Davy”
Searched the Mariana Trench just to find one dropped wrench
Then we sank the entire Russian Navy
Our crack sonar team heard a she-whale abeam
That cow acted lovingly goofish
Things got a bit lewd, now each whale of her brood
Resembles the Good Ship Bluefish
After rounding the Earth, we made port in Perth
Where we anchored in Dead Man’s Lagoon
Then a rogue waterspout sucked us up, spit us out
Forced our sub to steam back from the moon
Then our boat got the blame, for puttin’ others to shame
And the high Navy brass acted shrewish
Decision got made—”Cut ‘er up into blades”
Now we shave with the Good Ship Bluefish